Schaden Pigeon

Now you know I'd rather walk on my lips than take a little pleasure in John Edward's continued legal woes...but, he's just hired former White House counsel Greg Craig to represent him in his possible probable grand jury indictment. For those of you who were too drunk to remember the late 90's (and by those of you, I mean all of you) Greg Craig was the point man who defended then President Clinton in his post-pizza-depends-on-your-definition-of-sex fling with Monica Lewinski. 

Edwards is facing indictment over charges that his campaign donors paid Rielle Hunter hush money out of his campaign funds.  The court is also looking for the alleged sex tape of Edwards and Hunter.  Ewww  I don't know what Human Rights Watch is doing in these post GW Bush days, but perhaps they could do the world a service and make sure that tape is destroyed.  The prospect of having to see Rielle and John perform "Son of a Mill Worker" makes waterboarding sound downright fun.

We now also know who leaked the story to the National Enquirer.  A woman named...Pigeon O'Brien (and, yes, she looks EXACTLY liked you'd picture her).  Seems that ol' Pieg knew Rielle when she went by the name Lisa Druck (what is it with Libs and names) in the 80's.  The two reconnected at a party in 2004 where a star struck Rielle told Pigeon that she was dating a man named "John" from "North Carolina."  Now, I always assume my friends are dating presidential candidates unless they tell me otherwise, so I can see how she got 2 + 2 = the Breck Girl.  Needless to say her phone started ringing off the hook.

Pigeon puts it best:

"The trickle of calls began to swell.  My phone rang a lot.  It became a daily issue, hiding what I knew.  I was a lobster in a pot at full boil, without knowing how the water got so hot."

Clearly the stress was so great she took the check from the National Enquirer.  Two lessons here.  One:  trust no one.  Two: NEVER confide your innermost personal secrets to a publicist who has a name that suggests ratting you out.